mythicryder

Ok, lately I've been having these wonderful but sad dreams. Let me explain just a little bit before I actually get into what I remember of them. When I'm dreaming them I'm so very happy and everything in life is perfect. But when I wake up I get so incredibly depressed because the dreams were so wonderful and I know they'll never ever happen.

Dream 1:
I'm at home and suddenly my phone rings, it's one of my best friends, well he used to be my best friend he never talks to me anymore. Well anyway, he's come to town because he has some news and apparently he's coming down the street right now. I run outside and give him a big huge hug. And he says before I tell you lets spend the day together. So we go to Hull and all these places and have a great time. We end up on a board walk eating ice cream and he says, "My orders came through, I leave in October for the air force base in California." I tell him that it's not too bad, it's only May so we have plenty of time before he leaves and then it'll be forever before I see him again because his orders are for 6 years. Then he looks at me and says, "Here's the thing.... I want you to come with me."
Then I wake up.

Dream 2:
Well I can't actually remember much of anything from dream 2 but I'll post it when I do remember it.

Right now these dreams are really bugging me because it's like they're dragging up the past that hurt me so much and bringing them screaming into the present and making me wonder what would have happened if things didn't get so messed up. If anyone has any ideas why this is happening please tell me.

Sorry I've basically disappeared off the face of the planet since like August I think. There's just been way too much going on to keep up with this. I'm not going to go back through it all. Because it'll take forever to type and no one wants to read all that dumb stuff. So I'll go through the basics.

August:
Packed up my room and moved to RIT. Orientation was totally pointless and dumb.

September: Had my 18th birthday. About damn time. Started classes. Joined RIT Ambulance. Which was the best decision of my life.

October: Broke up with Matt after 4 months ending in disaster and jealously on his part. Halloween party with the coolest people ever.

November: Started dating Andrew. Thanksgiving break. After Thanksgiving dinner at Meagan's. Broke up with Andrew.

December: Christmas party with the best people ever. Christmas break. New Year's Eve craziness with my best friend Becky. Evidence is on Facebook.

Ok. Now we're up to the present.

So let's go over all the areas of my life in the present. Classes are alright, the work load is getting up to that of my engineer friends. But not quite yet. It will be once I change majors next year. I'm planning on going over to pre-med. I've always wanted to be a doctor and that's what I'm going to do. I shouldn't hold myself back from what I want to do.

Ok, now on to RITA. I'm getting close to finishing my Probie packet. It's taking a while, but I'm so close to being done with it. If I really crank down I might be able to get full member by the 11th. I'm going to try for that really, really hard.

Boys... Let's not discuss that one actually. It's been a complete disaster lately. Chalk that one up to making the same mistake over and over again. And always liking the wrong person. And ridiculous expectations, I blame that one on the romantic comedies that I love so much.

Well I think that is about it. Until next time.

Boy sees girl, boy loves girl.

Today was Matt and mine's one month anniversary. Yay!
Well we made like a huge weekend of it. First was the Kenny Chesney concert on Saturday which was awesome!!! We missed Gary Allen, but saw half of LeAnn Rimes, skipped out on Sammy Hajar, he's a Kid Rock wannabe. But then was Keith Urban and Kenny Chesney who are AWESOME live.
We didn't get home until like 1AM so I slept over Matt's house. I slept in his room and he got the couch downstairs. When I woke up he made me breakfast, chocolate chip pancakes, my favorite!!! Which I didn't tell him, sometimes I think he's a mind reader.
Then tonight he took me to Anthony's Pier 4, for dinner. Which was great. I had shrimp scampi, it was awesome!!! For a present he gave me a Build-A-Bear, it's a brown puppy with jeans, a t-shirt, and a guitar. It's the cutest thing ever!!!!

The Cape was awesome. I got a sunburn. My arms, my face, my stomach, and the tops of my legs. But oddly it's mostly superficial. Like I'm bright red, but the only thing that hurts are my knees because you know the skin gets compressed and stuff, and my stomach because that's wicked sensitive. And even those two places don't hurt too much. They only tingle a little.
But other than that my day at the Cape with Matt was awesome. His whole family went with us but it was fun. It was kinda their vacation but Matt was allowed to come get me for a day. We laid out on the beach for a while. Then we went into the hot tub for a few minutes. Matt went swimming in the pool for like 2 minutes before deciding it was way too cold after the hot tub. Then we went back to the hotel room were everyone showered. I opted to shower last so I wasn't holding anyone up. By the time I got out of the shower, I think a record time for me, Matt and his dad were playing guitar and singing. They played for a couple minutes and then we went out to dinner at Doyle's. Which was GREAT. The food was awesome.
After dinner we went back to the room were Matt and his dad played and sang some more. Matt played our song, You Save Me by Kenny Chesney, for me. Then he played Memories of Us by Keith Urban, and Brown Eyed Girl. Which he changed to "blue eyed girl" for me.
After that he drove me home because it was 9:00 and the drive is an hour long. So he didn't want to be getting back to the hotel down in Yarmouth at like midnight. Which I think he did anyway, there was some traffic on our way back to my house that got us to my house at like 10:30ish. So he got back a little later than he had wanted to.

Not much to say really.
Going down to the Cape today with Matt. We're gonna go to the beach and hang out and stuff. It should be tons of fun. I mean even if we just hang out and watch movies it's a good time too. That came out awkward...
Our one month anniversary is coming up soon, the 27th. We're going to the Kenny Chesney concert on the 26th to celebrate. I'm wicked excited about that. I have a present in mind for him. I hope he doesn't beat me to it and buy it for himself. Because then I would have to think of another one. And that wouldn't be cool. I kinda have to buy it secretly though, because my parents would kill me if I bought it for him. It's nothing bad, just a little on the expensive side. But I think it's only fair, I mean he did pay for the concert. Then on the 28th we're going into Boston with a bunch of Lifeteen Hanover kids to do that Harbor Cruise, which is always wicked fun.
So busy weekend next week. Haha. But it's good though.

Last night a bunch of the Lifeteen kids and I went into Boston to hang out and have fun.
We met at Quincy Market and went shopping. We saw a street performer while we were there. He was pretty funny, he's traveled the world and been all these cool places. We have a couple pictures with him.
Then we walked up to the North End and got Gelato. Matt and I got the most amazing coffee gelato EVER!!! Lizz got vanilla and her boyfriend Eric got raspberry.
Then we walked down to where that fountain is that water shoots up into the air and you can run through it. We got some pictures taken there. One of us actually went in it and tried not too get soaking wet.
After we walked to the Boston Harbor Hotel, which was gorgeous. And we looked out on the harbor. It was so pretty.
All the lights at night in Boston are beautiful!! One point I looked up and we could see the moon, it was cut in half and a brilliant white. It was so pretty.
After the hotel we walked to South Station and took the train home. It was definitely a great night.
Lizz, Eric, Matt and I want to go back into Boston on Sunday morning to go out for breakfast or something. Which should be awesome. I can't wait for that.

The 4th of July was pretty good. I went up to Maine to our island like I usually do with my family. I was looking forward to it for a little while. But then when it got time to go I wasn't really anymore. So the weekend wasn't as great as I had hoped. It wasn't completely miserable. I slept a lot like I do most of the time I go up there. Played some badminton, took pictures. Stuff like that.
It wasn't too bad. But it wasn't as great as it usually is for me.
My summer has been good. Hanging out with Matt a lot. Hard to believe it's been almost 2 weeks. Time seems to have blended together and I can't really tell the difference between days anymore. Which is fine by me.
Work has sucked a lot. I need to work more to get money for college. But my boss has like no hours for me. And I need the money for school. Like this week I only took Sunday and Wednesday off. And I'm not working until Saturday. I'm like "WTF?!?!?!" I don't really care because I hate my job so much. But at the same time, I'm like I need this money for school. At the current moment I think I have enough to last about half the school year. But I'm not sure I haven't looked at the balance on my accounts for a little while.
Well I think that's about it. So until next time.

This week has been the best week I've had in a long time.
I've been hanging out with Matt basically every day since last Thursday. We've been to the beach and played mini-golf, went to the movies, played volleyball with people. Last night he came over and we just watched movies. He asked me out officially last night. I'm really happy. Like so unbelievably happy. Matt's great.
That's all I have for this update I guess. Not too much going on.

Ok, I definitely need to update this more often than I have been.
Lets see what I can remember from the last time I remember since I visited RIT.
I've been working. Not as much as I have been in the past. But that's picking up too since summer has started.
Prom was almost a month ago. A month tomorrow actually. It was really fun. I took my friend Brendan from LTH. Christine took Ron from LTH.
School pretty much took us until the very end. I only had to take 2 finals. Earth Science and Honors Pre Calculus.
Graduation was hot as hell. It was 95 outside and we were in the sun. They tried to make the ceremony as quick as possible. It was only an hour and a half long. Usually it's much longer than that. They didn't want parents to clap in between each student so it would go quicker than usual. They all clapped at the end. By the end I was so gross and bright red. I took an ice cold shower after I got home. I was like "I don't care if there are people here I'm showering."
Summer has been pretty good. Not doing too much. Hanging out with my LTH friends as much as possible.
Last night was the bonfire which was awesome. I was allowed to stay late because I had driven myself there. I got home a little after 11. I saw a bunch of people. I hung out with Matt and Kim until Kim had to be home. They left around 10. Then I pretty much just wandered around with Dan Baldassini until I went home. Speaking of Dan, he was a little extra friendly last night. I thought he had a little to drink. But then I remembered he can't drink any alcohol.
So I guess that's about it. Until next time. Which knowing me will be in another month.

Monday I went up and visited RIT. Oh my God it was absolutely amazing. I love the school so much!!! The people where so nice, the buildings were beautiful. I just loved everything about it so much. I'm so excited to be going there. It just fits me perfectly. The school has so many students so I never thought that I'd actually go there, but I turned out to love the fact that there is so many people there. I love tons of people, I'm a city person and the school is basically a small city. So it's great. I ate at one of the NINE dining halls there and the food was absolutely amazing. I loved it so much. And online you can look at all the food for the different places to eat and for the last few days all of the choices looked pretty awesome!! Like last night at Gracie's they had a theme night like they do every so often, and it was Rennaissance Day, with all these great soups and meats and stuff. Also they have like a convenience store, which is basically a 7/11 run by the school. And a Ben & Jerry's right on campus, near the Candy Counter. Which of course has tons of awesome candy things.

Tomorrow is May 1st. Scary... To put in a short and simple sentence. I am now officially terrified. AP English exam is next Thursday. So we're done with that class pretty much. Then all my other classes are winding down slowly. Mr. Patch has had a "Where I Am Going..." board going with every senior that he has on it along with the school they're going to. Which is pretty good. No one's going to RIT as far as I can tell. So I'm on my own.

Work still sucks. I'm trying to find a new job so I'm not stuck at Stop & Shop all summer working pretty close to full time before I go off to school. But all the good jobs you have to be 18 to work at. So those are pretty much not there. I would love to work at Uno's with Becky. But I have to be 18 since they serve alcohol. But since I turn 18 like two weeks after I go off to school. Freshman move in date for me is August 24th. So I can probably get a job at the RITZ, it's a wicked sick sports club on campus. Or like at the Alumni Lounge. Which I find kind of amusing. The campus is a dry campus, meaning if you're over 21 you still can't bring alcohol onto campus. But the Alumni Lounge on campus serves alcohol. Oxymoron...

Well I guess that's about it for now.

OK, so this morning my parents officially decided that I can go to RIT. So hello New York!!!! Nothing can ruin my day now. I'm so excited!!!!
So I had a huge blonde moment this morning. Reading the housing survey thing that I had to fill out, well they've got the thing about strobed rooms for deaf people, since they can't hear the fire alarms the strobe lights wake them up instead. We've got one in the house for my mom. It's pretty cool. Well I'm an idiot and I was too excited to read properly that I read it stro-bed room, instead of strobed room. Needless to say my dad joked about putting me into disabilities service for being so blonde. LoL.
So Monday I have to schedule a visit to RIT for next Saturday. I'm so pumped. Not looking forward to the long ride home. But I get to see my Aunt Sue again. Which will make her happy.
Another reason I'm excited to go up to RIT is I know my Aunt will try to feed me as often as I can. But I know I'm gonna get good food up there. My mom and dad both went to school there. And they said for breakfast they've got a wall of cereal, like a legit WALL. It was like walking into a supermarket aisle of cereal. Some days my dad couldn't decide and had like 3 types of cereal in one bowl, ew. But he'd have like Capt'n Crunch like 99% of the time. It's loaded with sugar, so there you go. LoL. And there's a Ben & Jerry's right on campus. I love my life right now. LoL. And a couple of Sports Bars kind of things. So plenty of food. And my parents are getting me that unlimited meal thing. Because if you know me, you know how much I eat over the course of the day. I'm a little piggy. LoL.

So wow, it's been a while since I've updated this thing...
I have no idea what's happened since the last time. So I'll fill in what I remember. Haha.
Well I got into RIT and Franklin Pierce. Waitlisted at Syracuse. No big deal there.
I really, really, really want to go to RIT. Which looks like it may happen because the financial aid packets I got from those schools Franklin Pierce is $11,000 per year, and RIT is $10,000 per year that my parents have to pay. And that's my main decider on where I'm going. Is money. Which sucks because I can look around Hanover and basically every kid can go where ever they want, and money isn't an object. Not everyone. But alot of people.
Senioritis keeps getting worse and worse. But I need to get my grades back up so I don't have to take the finals in the classes that have it. Which it looks like I'm taking the Earth Science and PreCalc finals. I don't have a clue why I have such a bad grade in Earth Science. I do all the work. McPeck hates me I swear. I know why I have a horrible grade in PreCalc. That class is kicking my butt, it's the first time in like a while that I just don't understand and can't do it. The material has gotten easier though. Vectors, go physics last year. LoL.
Ummmm, I don't remember anything else really. Those are the only things that have been circling my mind the past couple of days.

So basically I haven't updated this in like forever.
In a nutshell, school sucks.
Work sucks even more.
I got into Franklin Pierce University up in New Hampshire.
It's gonna be fun.
I still have to send in my deposit, but it's not due until like March 3rd.
So it's all ok.
I still have to call and make an appointment to visit it.
I'm gonna go for lunch, and maybe sit in on a class or two.
I haven't quite decided yet.

Valentine's day is tomorrow.
That should be fun.
I don't have a boyfriend, still.
It's not such a huge concern for me at the moment.
Due to college and stuff it's taken a back burner.
But since that's all over, it's in my mind again.
It's kind of sucky because I'm leaving in like 7 months.
So I don't want to get attached to anyone just in time for me to leave.
But I want a chance at something at least.

February vacation starts on Friday.
Yay for vacation.
I have Stag Semi on Friday night, that should be pretty amazing.
Saturday I have to work until 9:30.
Grossness.
Then Sunday we're all going up to New York to visit my Aunt Sue.
Dad has to go to Cornell to recruit college kids to work for Lycos.
So he's taking us up with him to see my favorite aunt.
After we get back I'm gonna chill with friends, hopefully.

Hey everyone. I hope your Christmas was good. Mine was pretty busy. I had three, which is the same as it has been for as long as I can remember.

In the morning I'm at my house. Haha, as if it wasn't obvious. I've wanted a rabbit since I was like 5 so this year my mom got me a toy rabbit. One of those FurReal things. Hahaha. Guess I should have been more specific. LoL. And I have a giant Hershey's kiss. It's pretty awesome. I have yet to open it and take a bite but I don't think that will last long. Mom also got me the Sudoku board game. She knows I'm like obsessed with Sudoku. Dad got me one of my favorite movies of all time. Almost Famous. The bootleg cut with all the extended scenes.
"I dig music.... I'm on drugs!!!!!"
That's like my favorite line out of the entire movie. Hahaha.

Now to Christmas #2. In the afternoon we go to my Aunt Sharon's house. And we open more presents. We got the boys Nerf guns, and my Aunt and Uncle some too. For like an hour after we were done with presents and dinner we ran around outside shooting each other. That was great. We also got them a popcorn popper with bowls and stuff. My Aunt got me some stuff that she brought home from Hong Kong. My favorite are these green beads. They're so pretty. She also got me a portable mini fridge for my college dorm room!! I was like "Sweet!!!!" Then my mom was like, "Aw that's nice. You can put your insulin and stuff in it." Dude, thanks for killing the I-got-a-mini-fridge buzz. Kinda pissed Mom won't let me set it up in my room. Grrr. I'm sure she'll be tired of keeping it in her room that she'll just put it in mine. It's still in the box at this moment. I really want to take it out and look at it though...

Christmas #3. For dessert we go to my Great Aunt Nancy's house. Where there's a gift swap. One of my younger cousins (her and her siblings are like my 3rd cousins so they call me Aunt Siobhan), well actually her parents since she's too young to pick gifts out, got me stuff for the Jeep as a gag gift. I got an AmourAll gift pack with all that stuff. And I got Cinnamon Apple air fresheners, and a little hula girl to put on the dash board. Haha. Then for my real gift they got me gift certificates for Patriot Cinemas. I got a little fun out of the gift though. I keep joking that I'll actually put my hula girl on the dash and Mom would threaten to kill me. Apparently she has something against hula girls. Hahaha. I'll probably end up putting her on my desk or something. She's kinda cute.

Well that was my Christmas. Now I have to clean up for Kaiti's party. Mom is running around like a crazy person trying to clean. I keep trying to say, "They're sophomores in high school. They don't care that the house isn't spotless. I don't even think they'll notice." I mean we're going to be ice skating most of the day anyway. Once they get back here they'll be too tired to notice that we didn't have time to dust. Ugh, I just remembered that they're gonna be here at like 8:30AM tomorrow. Which means I have to get up early to shower and stuff before the party. Man, I was planning on sleeping in every day this vacation. With the exception of yesterday when I was up at like 6AM waiting to wake up my parents at 7AM. Haha.

Well that is my vacation thus far. Now I have to go clean. Mom is like screaming. After I'm done there I'll download my pictures onto Facebook. Yay!

So basically, I love weekends. They're amazing. I haven't had the chance to sleep in, in basically forever. Well other weekends. But not really for me. I have work, and my boss sucks, so that means I have to get up early every weekend to work. But today I somehow managed a later shift. But that unfortunately means working until 8PM tonight. Soo not cool. I have no idea what my schedule for the vacation is. But if I have to work early in the morning ALL vacation. I'm not gonna be too happy. I mean I don't really mind working in the morning. That gives me the rest of the day to do something. Which is pretty nice.

I think all of my Christmas shopping is done... But I'm not completely sure. I know I have to get one thing more for my sister to go along with what her boyfriend gave her last night. He got her a camera!!! It's so cute!!! She loves it so much. I'm gonna get her a 512MB memory card for it. So she can have more than 5 pictures at a time. That card will hold somewhere around 300 pictures. Well depending on the size of the picture at least. She just woke up and is running around the house looking for things to take a picture of. Ha ha. There are countless ones of the cat and stuffed animals.

Let me think, is there anything else that I haven't mentioned?? Oh, there is. Just a couple of sentences,
"If you're gonna talk about me, do it to my face. And comment on my journal about how 'awful' I am. Not behind my back. That's called being a bitch."

There now I'm done. Thought I was gonna go for a whole post without mentioning it. Didn't you?

So today has been fun. Haha, yeah. That's sarcasm.

Today was the last day before vacation so that means everyone brought presents for their friends. I only brought something for Christine. Because she's the only one I'm really close to right now. And I couldn't find anything I wanted to give people.

Well Christine was the only one who got me anything. I love the present she got me. It's the cutest green shirt from Charlotte Russe. But I'm sad because I feel very forgotten.

I mean. With all the stupid shit one of my "friends" is spreading behind my back. Which isn't even true.
I'm so mad about it. And no one is talking to me anymore. Because they all worship the ground she walks on. I mean, if you're gonna be two faced, sweetie at least make one of them pretty. Don't pretend to be my friend and talk about me behind my back because I called you out on something. At least have the guts to say it to my face. I'll gladly say what I think of you to yours.

Christmas is in 4 days. I'm pretty excited for all of that. Christmas Eve I'm going to my grand dad's house and having chili and hamburgers. Then we decorate his tree. Afterward we go out and line his yard and driveway with luminaries then light them. It's very pretty. Especially if there's snow on the ground. All the crystals reflect the light and they glow for almost two feet around them. Then afterwards we have apple pie and ice cream and play cards until late. We've had this tradition as long as I've lived in Massachusetts. Christmas morning we open presents at 7AM, then we have cinnamon buns for breakfast. That's been going on for as long as I can remember. Then in the afternoon we go to my aunt's for lunch and more presents. Then for dinner and desert we go to my great aunt Nancy's for a gift swap. Every Christmas we do all this. I love it. I get to see all my family.

I'm so excited for my sister's party too. It's a couple days after Christmas. We're going into Boston to the Frog Pond to go ice skating. It's going to be amazing. Kaiti is going to have a blast. She'll be so surprised. It's going to be a great time.

Well I guess that's about it for now.

Hey, so I'm pretty sick right now. It's all ucky. I hate being sick. All that make-up work is wicked stressful and stuff.
Also I found out some stuff today that would have been nice to have been said to my face. But finding out the way I did is fun too.
So life is fun.
College essay, I have to get on that. Once that is done I can get everything else done. I also need to get my addressed letters to Ms. Fay. So to do list:
~College essay
~Send out transcript to Franklin Pierce
~Addressed envelopes for Ms. Fay
~Application to FPU
~The rest of my applications
~The rest of my transcripts sent out
~Freak out while I wait for letters
~Financial aid
~Relax

Ahhh the busy life of a senior in high school. It's pretty much awesome. Hahaha.

So wow. I haven't updated this in quite a while.
This was going to originally be my Author's Club thing. But everyone seems to conveniently "forget" to mention when meetings are to me. So if I'm not welcome, Karen have her club. And I can go it alone. You know?

Last night was that major storm. And our school system sucks. The news got our hopes up about a day off today. Only for us to find out that it wasn't true. Half the people didn't go to school today anyway. I couldn't have stayed home, but I had an appointment to give blood. So I went. But turns out that the Red Cross is retarded. And half the people didn't show. So they were way behind and they told me they weren't taking anymore people. I was ripshit. I mean Mom would have let me stay home, but I was like "No, I want to go to school because I want to give blood." And I didn't. Fucking bullshit.

But today is Friday. So it's all good. Weekend, yay. Maybe going out tonight. Probably not. You know how it goes.

Well this week is Spirit Week. Yesterday was Holiday Day, I dressed up as a Christmas present and Christine dressed up as a Christmas tree. It was really cute. Today was Silver Screen Day, I was supposed to dress up as Regina George, but I didn't want to wear a skirt, I didn't shave, and my stockings had a run in them. So I was like screw it, and didn't wear a skirt. And Christine geeked out on me, she was a real witch to me. I was like "I don't want to deal with your crap today." And I walked away. Tomorrow is Clash Day, which should be wicked awesome. I can't wait to dress up all messed up. It's going to be awesome. Monday is Sports Day and I get to dress up in my Powderpuff stuff. Which is gonna be really awesome too. Tuesday is Color Day, Seniors are blue.

You know, I use the word awesome a lot. A little bit too much. I should find a word to substitute for awesome so I don't use it almost every sentence. Haha.

I have to work today, which kinda sucks. But hey, I get money. So it's all good. But it sucks because everyone's favorite CDH is working tonight, Jared. *imitates shooting self in the head* It's awesome. Haha.

Well I finally decided on a Senior picture for the yearbook. It's about time. I have an appointment with guidance to talk about college. I'll have Mr. Adams make me a list of things I have to do for college because there is so much stuff to do I have absolutely no idea where to start. So a list is necessary.

And absolutely none of this has anything to do with my writing so far. Well now it will.

I have no idea what I'm going to do with my story for the Author's Club self published book. I'll probably re-write my "Western" for it. It's plot is mostly worked out. I really like the idea for the story. And it has the possibility to be really good if I write it correctly. I really want to take my time with this story and see where it can take me. Maybe actually get it published when I get older. Or publish it now. I don't know. That would look good on a college transcript. A book published at 17. Haha.

Well I must leave for work now. So I must leave you all.